"Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't work." -Calvin & Hobbes

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Speech! Speech!

I had a difficult time trying to decide on a title for this blog. My alternate title was "My Friends are Assholes" which is a much better fit, but less appropriate for posting. But let's be honest, my friends are assholes. Keep in mind, however, that this is coming from a girl who has actually said to her grandmother, "When you croak, can I have that?" So I guess that is why we make such good friends. A bunch of hilarious assholes.

I recently went down to my friends' house to have a Game Night/Celebration after I graduated from my teacher credentialing program. The program had been extremely intense and I was finally going to get the chance to hang out with my friends after far too long. Mike and Ashley, the hosts, even had champagne for me. How sweet! We all hung out around the house for awhile, drinking, eating, and making fun of each other. After awhile Mike got out the champagne and began pouring a glass for everyone. He said that he wanted to say something. A speech? For me?!

Now, I would like you all to know that I have this all on video, but I know that my friends would kill me if I posted it on the internet, so here is a transcription of what happened. I will NOT, however, be changing any names. This is all much funnier on video, but I will do my best to get the point across.

Me, "A speech, for me?!"
Mike, "Uh huh."
Raises glass. "So here's to denote a lot of really hard work and a lot of long hours..."
This is when I start to question what is going on...this speech is far too sentimental.
"...to finally attain a goal..." Ok, what's the catch?
"...of me and Joe mounting the new TV!" 
Vinnie, Joe, and Ryan erupt in cheers, I start cracking up, and Ashley says above all of this commotion, "Waaait a second, wait a second."
Ryan, "That really is a hell of a television."
Joe, "You know, I didn't come down here and help you with that just for this, but it really means something to be acknowledged like this."
Mike, "Cheers!" All the boys clink their glasses.
Vinnie, "Hey, I came in in the clutch though."
Joe, "Yeah, yeah, we couldn't have finished it without Vinnie coming in at the end there."
Ashley, "Wait, wait. Can I just say something about Lindsay, our friend, and the reason we are here, as opposed to our television (laughs). Lindsay...."
Vinnie interrupts, "She's not in 3D though."
Ashley continues, "Lindsay, my best friend, and your guy's good friend, but not as good of a friend as she is to me...(nice speech, nice speech, joke about East Palo Alto, etc.)...and she is a fantastic person who is going to be shaping young minds, and I couldn't be happier." Awwwww.
Boys, "To the TV!"  
Well played, gentlemen. Cheers.