Adventures in "Motherhood"

Motherhood is in quotes for this one because, yes, I realize that I was not actually experiencing what it is actually like to be a mother. I got the kids at 8am, and got to leave at 3pm. I got to go home and eat dinner in peace and then sleep throughout the night. But alas, I have made the life choice to currently choose sleep over creating life. I love kids but I REALLY love sleep. Sally is pissed.
The past week, my cousin's kids (ages 3 and 1) have been on their summer break from preschool. I was stoked to get the chance to volunteer my time to hang out with these two balls of adorableness. Here are the highlights.
On Monday, we walked to the park. Man, am I out of shape. Pushing two kids in a stroller up hill is exhausting (by "up hill" I miiiight mean a slight incline). We get to the park and Parker (age 3 years) is immediately running laps through and around the play structure while Carson (age 1) is bear crawling around, trying to keep up with his big brother. As Carson and I finally get to the slide, Parker hops up to me with both hands behind his back. "Cousin Liiiindsay! I have a surpriiiiise for you!"
I trust no man, even if they are only 3 years old. Skeptically, I look at him with a sideways glance and and cautiously ask, "What is it?'
Parker immediately throws his hands in front of him and, holding two yellow dandelions, shouts, "Flowers!"
Oh my goodness. Let me introduce my new favorite person...

When we got home, we made peanut butter and jelly "swandwiches" and then took a nap on the couch together. Flowers, PB&J, and couch cuddling? This is all I have ever wanted in a relationship.

I had let him make his own swandwich (sometimes "squandwich"). It consisted of a glob of peanut butter, flattened, near-ish to the center, and a large glob of jelly thoroughly smeared all the way across the bread and dripping over the edge. Immediately upon finishing his swanwich, Parker says, "Cousin Lindsay, I'm going to give you a hug."
"Oh my gosh! Did you know that hugs are my favorite?!"
Me saying this made him extremely excited, and he hopped down from his chair and ran over to me to smear jelly across the back of my shoulders, i.e. give me a big bear hug. After he figured out that I love hugs, about every ten minutes he would say, "Hug time!" and leap into my arms. I haven't been reaching my daily hug quota since I have been away from students during summer vacation, and let me tell you, the many many hugs that I received that day revived me. Not to mention, Carson wants to do everything that his big brother does, so whenever I got a hug from Parker, Carson was not far behind with another.   

Day two:
There is no amount of caffeine that can prepare me for raising children. How is there so much energy inside such tiny humans? On this day we went on an adventure to...my house. We piled into their "mom car" (the Mercedes ML class- the classiest of mom cars) and drove the 9 minutes to mi casa. Parker picked any and all of the oranges that he could reach. Then I lifted him up to pick some lemons from the taller of the two citrus trees. He chose his favorite zucchini from my garden, all while I lugged Carson around on my hip. Here is a picture of our catch of the day. Also, this is what happens when you let a 3 year old dress himself...

The rest of our days were filled with good times, but I think that I am too exhausted to actually remember many more details. On day 4, Nana took Parker and I was left with just Carson, who turned 1 year old that day. His other Nana, "Nana Glasses" was there helping prepare for his first birthday party that was to be held at the other Nana's house that weekend.
Man, kids are gross. You think they eat so much, but I'm pretty sure about 75% of the food you give them ends up on their face or in their pants. Now, I don't know if this is a well known tactic in parenting, or if I'm just a freaking genius, but after day one, when I would feed Carson, I would strip him down to his diaper and let him go at it. After he had consumed however much food he could get in his mouth and filled up his little baby belly, I would stick him in the sink and hose him down. Call CPS if you want, but I'm pretty sure they would give me a childcare genius award. Here is the big, bad one year old, "eating" his birthday lunch.

After lunch Nana Glasses was blowing up beach balls for C's birthday party, and holy guacamole, did we have fun...

Aaaaaand break time...

While exciting, playing with beach balls is exhausting! C kept trying to use them as a pillow, only to have them roll out from under his head. Good try though, buddy. Beach balls are probably the cheapest, most exciting toy you can get your kids. That's all that my kids are going to have, beach balls and cardboard boxes. Have fun kids. Plus, you can bounce the balls off of their heads and it doesn't hurt! He loved it and I cracked up. Don't tell his parents.

Saturday, the day of the birthday party, I was on my way to my aunt's house, also known as "Nana," and looked down at my watch. There was dried peanut butter on the band. Again, gross.While I was there, Parker noticed the burn on my foot (yes, I burned my foot- my good foot- and there were some nasty scars on it). He exclaimed, " Cousin Lindsay, what happened to your foot?!"
"I burned it." I said.
"It looks like a dinosaur bite!"
Yessssss.
The day was filled with parents and their children and the choice for me to either mingle with the parents or hang out with the kids. Option B will always win. Kids are gross and exhausting, but adults are boring. Here is me, Parker, Carson, and Ty in the ball pool. Good times.