Inappropriate Things to Say to Make a Seemingly Appropriate Situation Awkward

The following are some statements that I have actually said out loud, after being given relatively normal news. This is not a joke, it is purely confirmation of my awkward and, many times, inappropriate ways. I hope you get a laugh, and don't get insulted. Here you go....

Friend; "I'm pregnant."

Immediate response from me, "Are you ok?!!"

Male; "I'm gay."

Me; "Congratulations!"

Cousin, Male; "I'm gay."

Me; "Oh, great. Everyone probably thinks I'm a lesbian."

Friend; "I'm Jewish."

"Oh, my God! I LOVE bagels!"

And the winner is....

Boyfriend;  "I really like you, Lindsay Anderson."

Me; "I really like you too, (insert full name of his brother here)."

Well, that was awkward. Please note:  I did NOT have a crush on his brother, I guess his brother's name just rolled off the tongue a bit more easily. We are no longer dating.