Platform for Presidential Campaign (when I decide to run)

• White socks will not be sold. Only brightly colored socks with fun patterns.




• Sonicare toothbrushes will run for 3 minutes, not 2.




• Unhealthy foods will be taxed. That money will go to organic farmers to enable the price of fresh fruits and vegetables to go down.




• Annoying songs such as "I Got a Feeling," "Birthday Sex" and "Kiss Me Through the Phone" will be banned from all radio stations.




• 25 hour work weeks, maximum.




• All medicine will be in ice cream form.



• The pterodactyl will be our nation's bird (sorry bald eagle).



• All military funding will be put toward public education and libraries. There will be no need to worry about our safety though, because I will have befriended all the leaders of other nations, as shown by our monthly Game Nights.


• Socks will not have seams.


• Everyone will be given a piece of candy and a hug on Wednesdays.