Myth: The 20 Minute Nap

"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here."
-Mitch Hedberg



Have you ever been terribly exhausted, but not wanted to take a nap for fear that a) you will still be tired when you wake up, or 2) you won't be able to get to sleep that night when bedtime rolls around? Well, has my mother got the solution for you!

"Twenty minutes is the perfect amount of time to nap so that you are refreshed but not too groggy." Oh, Sally. You and your crazy ideas. I'm sure getting to work on my flying unicorn would be a lot more efficient too, but that just isn't possible, now is it?

There are so many reasons that this 'shnap' (short nap) is an impossible feat, and here are just a couple;
1. So you set your alarm for 20 minutes. Well, how long does it take one to fall asleep? When I know that I only have T minus 20 minutes to snooze, that is all that I can think about, therefore making it nearly impossibly to even doze off. Yeah, OK, set my alarm for 30 minutes...same problem, don't waste my time.
2. If I am grumpy enough to resort back to my toddler or college days, I am not about to attempt this ill-fated power nap. I want to take a real, honest to goodness n-a-p. If I lie down to rejuvenate myself, I'm going to be down for the count for at least two hours.
and C. I will tell you right now, that if I sleep for less than the time it takes to watch one measly television show, I will most definitely be as groggy as groggy gets, and not ready to jump up and happily continue on with my day.
So Sal, as you're reading this, and I know you are, please keep these blasphemous ideas to a minimum, as I would like to keep you out of the retirement home for as long as possible (mainly for financial reasons- I heard those places can be pricey)!